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So last week, I joined Weight Watchers again. I’d done this a couple of years ago with a very dear friend and we did pretty good. Then life happened and blah blah excuses. Not even going to waste my time typing them out because they’re all bullshit. Lies we tell ourselves to make us feel better about giving up on something good.

But that’s a whole other blog post.

So I know that in order to actually be able to start testosterone, I need to get my diabetes under control and just generally get my ass into better shape. I don’t eat terribly, but, listen, when I’m stressed, junk is my go to. Specifically things like ice cream and Snickers with almonds. Not really chocolate-y things, though, but still, plenty of stuff that’s not great for me. I’ve had such a hard time with it for so long, too. Not that I really gained weight, but I’m definitely not losing it.

I was talking to some people about joining and we’ve gotten a few of us in a group together to go through this and support each other through our individual weight loss/lifestyle change journey. Because studies show that if you have support and encouragement in it, you’ll be more likely to succeed. While getting on testosterone and top surgery and being able to live as who I am on the inside is definitely motivation and a fire under my butt to stick with it, having people who not only love me for me, but will also be there to support me and push me when I need it, means everything.

I’ll be 40 in August this year. This doesn’t bother me one bit. Bring it on.

I just don’t want the next 40 years to be like the last 40. I have too many things I want to experience and do to stay stuck in this rut of feeling like hell and not being able to because I’m too fluffy and out of shape. Life is short and I’m dedicated to being able to do the things and enjoy the things that matter from here on out.

As of Sunday (my weigh in day), I’ve lost three pounds. Considering I only joined six days ago, I’d say that’s pretty good. I don’t weigh in otherwise because if I do, then I become obsessed by the number on the scale and that’s not good for my mental health. So I’ll update everyone this weekend probably on where I’m at with that.

Be blessed, y’all.

HB

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